Wild Thing 5/9

22/09/2013

The cops came yesterday, wanted to talk to me about Rach. I know what you’re thinking – why did I ramble around yesterday talking about “the whole story” instead of discussing current and important issues? Now you’re “catching up”. (Note use of sarcastic quotation marks.) You’re going: “Poor dear, they must’ve told her something horrible, she was in shock.” So great to have someone who understands. You’re so right.

No, wait, that’s wrong. Shut up! Geez, let me tell my story.

Or is it her story? Right, you want to hear the juicy, shocking information the coppers gave me yesterday. Sorry for thinking of myself first.

You know what? I’m not sorry. I’m sick of this crap. I’m sick of everyone giving me “sympathetic” looks or telling me they “understand how I feel” when they have no idea. And then after five minutes they’ve already moved on. Talking about schoolwork or jobs or some party.

It’s not like I’m asking for much. Just some… Time? Space? Consideration? My best friend died. Fake concern or some meaningless platitude isn’t going to make it better. Do you offer a band-aid to someone who has lost a limb?

I guess I feel like a wreck. Like I’m crying for the first time in ten or so years. Like I pick up the telephone and halfway through Rach’s number I remember she’s gone. Like I’m the only real person left and everyone else is a mindless drone. And like even I am disappearing bit by bit. Stuck on autopilot. Forever.

God, I’m a piece of work. A nut job. I need a break, a few minutes to… gather my thoughts? Just… wait.

I’m back. Right. Police. Questioning. You want a story? Want to hear a revelation? Coming right up.

They asked me all this stuff they already knew: “You were close friends with the deceased, Rachel Longclast?” “You saw the deceased the day of her death?” “You only saw her at school?” etc.

Then they asked if she acted strangely (No) and if I knew she dealt drugs (No again). I asked what was going on. They told me two pretty shocking things. 1) Rach was probably murdered and 2) She was probably a murderer.

What? Not what you were expecting? Not some hot goss you can spread around without remorse? Guess I live to disappoint.